Disappointment happens. We get turned down at castings, cut from a show, photos don’t turn out right, declined from a magazine submission. Some are easier to take than others. Some are down right devastating.
Recently, I was set to walk in a local fashion show (not Chance related). I was picked at the casting, a designer specifically requested me, I went to the fitting. Everything was set. Then a couple days later, I received a rather terse email saying I had been cut. I was speechless. I am good friends with the designer and I knew he hadn’t cut me. So off went the text message. What happened next was an outrage filled conversation between the designer and I over the fact the show staff had cut me, and we found out later many other hand picked models.
I went to the model coordinator and even the CEO. Unfortunately, no response let alone a reason was given. The designer also sent emails and made calls to his contacts. Much was said and in the end the staff stuck with their decision despite disagreement from the designer.
Their show went on. But not for me. I was devastated. Let me caveat this with the idea of levels of devastation. This broke my model heart but only ranked maybe a 4 (out of 10) on the overall scale of crises in my life. Anyway, I was insulted, deeply disappointed and my confidence seriously shook.
I had a choice. I could lash out, stay quiet, move on, wallow, get stronger, ignore it and/or give up. Several of those were not really an option in my mind. Lashing out would get me no where. I vented my frustration and hurt in private but being public with it would only look bad on me. I’ll admit, I had a serious moment where I thought about giving up. I hoped to grow stronger from it but again I’ll be honest, I can’t always do that. I’d love to say that every time I got knocked down I came back stronger. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t immediately but strengthen over time much like a healing injury, sometimes I just go back to where I was and other times I get back up but have to work to get back to where I was before the knock. In this case, I just moved on, returning to where I was before the knock. There wasn’t the shine of growth through disappointment but that’s okay. Growth doesn’t always happen. What counts is that we chose to continue. Continue from where we are in the moment and move onto the next thing.
The next thing for me was coaching models and working backstage for Chance Fashion. It is also several photoshoots in the works and potentially a trip to New York for work.
I’ve moved on. It doesn’t mean the sting of disappointment didn’t happen nor does it mean I don’t feel the pain but I’m not letting it control me. I will not give the people who created this situation the satisfaction on seeing me down.